Trying to find a track

It's not so much about just getting back on track, it is also about finding a track that works for me and gets the miles in.

Sunday - bike 15 miles
Monday - walk hilly 2 miles and exercises with Tucker
Tuesday - walk 2 miles with kids on bike (is it possible to do a walking fartlek? If so - I did.)
Wednesdsay - walk 3 miles (90 degrees) ugh. and exercises with Tucker
Thursday - nothing

So I guess I shouldn't complain - I did get 7 miles in and 15 miles on the bike. If I can get my "long run" of 8 in tomorrow morning - I would consider this first week of reformed running ok.

My knee is still acting up. Just when I think that it is "all better" and I can go back to running, it "goes out" and reminds me that all is not well. At the appt with the orthopedic, he told me my right knee was really swollen - which I had the intelligent response of "oh, I thought it was just a bunch of fat there." I mean, come on, I am getting to middle age and I am finding fat building on the oddest places. yuck. Well anyway - so last night I am doing some gardening and only as I am bending and reaching do I get a good look at my knee and realize that it is really swollen. I think I finally saw what he was trying to describe.

Sure, it is hard to bend at times and even trying to stretch it is tough - but again, I thought it was just because I was old(er).

I am looking forward to Monday - my second opinion is scheduled at 8 am on Monday with a sports med knee orthopedic guy. My hope that he can either give me different news that is really good; provide better options for the bad news or find a way to reach me to help me deal with it.

I am already talking with myself to try to keep it together. As you know from my post from my last appt, I fell apart into tiny little pieces. I need to be more logical this time so I can ask better questions in addition to keeping my cool to be ready to do back to back presentations at work starting at 9:20 am. This will be interesting.

I think I am coping better with the thought of never running again. I decided that I will take it day by day and week by week. Just like I didn't go from running 1 block to 20 miles - I can't go from full time runner to nonrunner. Little by little I need to work through it.

Through all of this, I am so thankful for my RL partner, friend and coach of Tom. There are very few people who can so completely understand the challenge and sadness of not running as well as take on the feel feeling. Tom has been so kind to "get it" and offer suggestions. And more than anything, offer the chance to talk it through. I have wonderful family and friends, but they don't know the right things to say or how to help me work through it. This is where it is so important to have running friends - they know.

Let's hope next week this time all of this is just a bad memory. :}