Are "What if's" bigger before a race or before a doctor appt

The countdown is on - just 3 days until my appointment with the orthopedic doc to look at my knee.

Nothing has really changed the last few months. Outside of finding a new and higher level of understanding and appreciation for balance and hip strength - my knee itself is still a pain in the ass. It locks, it pops, I have too be very careful twisting pivoting. Hills and stairs are killers, digging in my garden is torture.

It's hard not to think about it since there is some kind of pain with it at all times. Heck, I rolled over in bed last night and it popped and about sent me through the roof. And it is so unpredictable - never quite sure when it will feel ok and when it won't.

I am still not sure if I should hope for the doctor to tell me it is all in my head and to work past the pain and keep going with the painful exercises or if I want him to say - "yes, there is something wrong and it must be fixed." Is it a mark of a truly insane runner to hope to be told they are mentally unstable versus they need to stop running or get treatment that goes beyond PT?

I have never heard that a diagnosis of "crazy" putting a runner on the disabled/must not run list....