Are "What if's" bigger before a race or before a doctor appt

The countdown is on - just 3 days until my appointment with the orthopedic doc to look at my knee.

Nothing has really changed the last few months. Outside of finding a new and higher level of understanding and appreciation for balance and hip strength - my knee itself is still a pain in the ass. It locks, it pops, I have too be very careful twisting pivoting. Hills and stairs are killers, digging in my garden is torture.

It's hard not to think about it since there is some kind of pain with it at all times. Heck, I rolled over in bed last night and it popped and about sent me through the roof. And it is so unpredictable - never quite sure when it will feel ok and when it won't.

I am still not sure if I should hope for the doctor to tell me it is all in my head and to work past the pain and keep going with the painful exercises or if I want him to say - "yes, there is something wrong and it must be fixed." Is it a mark of a truly insane runner to hope to be told they are mentally unstable versus they need to stop running or get treatment that goes beyond PT?

I have never heard that a diagnosis of "crazy" putting a runner on the disabled/must not run list....

Tri it - really - just go ahead

Received an email from the Copper Creek Tri (Flatland Series) last night that the next 15 teams that sign up for a TRI get $25 off their registration price. Action Accents is sponsoring it because they want more teams at the TRI.

Teams are a great way to get started in TRI's - safety in numbers and you don't have to be good or train for all three sports. If it wasn't for this stupid knee of mine, I would sign up now!

Change is good - always

Years ago, I tried the Triathlon event because I realized I sucked at running alone. I had done a marathon and a half marathon and a 5K and I quickly knew that my body wasn't built to be a super runner and probably couldn't keep doing the long distances forever.

I had also just wrapped up my MBA and knew I needed a new and different challenge to redirect my energies. I had a friend who was doing sprint and olympic tris and suggested I could do it.

I can remember that my biggest concern of taking on TRI's wasn't the distance or even the actual events - it was wearing a swimsuit in front of other people - on purpose. It wasn't that I was grotesquely obese - but it was definitely something I have never enjoyed.

It took me more time to talk myself into going to the pool and trying a few strokes than it did to work my way up to the actually swimming the first mile.

A good friend once told me to never miss a personal deadline. That the key to succeeding and moving forward is to set goals/timelines/deadlines for yourself and then not let anything get in the way. So I took his advice and picked a date, put together a plan and then just did it. I got a suit, I went to the pool and got in. The first few times were hard - just like when I started running. But over a few visits, my swimming was stronger.

And the bike. I liked biking. I ad a great mountain bike with nobby tires. I knew no differently how hard that would be to ride on for a olympic distance tri of 25 miles. So I trained on it. I liked it. On race day, I was a bit intimidated by all the very nice tri bikes in the stands. There stood my $90 Target special with big nobby tires and 7 of 10 gears that worked reliably. But I did it. Wheels are wheels - they can get you there - if you try hard enough.

And then the run. Obviously the run wasn't intimating. A mere 10K. I think it was the thought of doing it after the mile swim and 25 mile bike that worried me. And through all the training, I wondered if I would survive. I found out I did. I found out I could.

In the end, I found a true love for triathlons - more than marathons and probably equal to half marathons. I have a short attention span so it is wonderful to switch events three times. I find just when I am tired of the activity, it is time to do another. I found that I really find comfort and joy of the feel of "brick-like" legs off the bike to the run. It is very satisfying. And the best part is I have found a consistent faster pace on my runs in a TRI than a stand alone road race.

But best of all - the change from running alone to cross training made me appreciate my run times more and then the cross training made me a better, stronger runner.

It was change that did me good then and now every year at this time I am thankful for the chance to change up my running and take on new and exciting challenges in training for a tri.

And more time speeds away...

Blink. There goes a week. Blink. There goes another week. Time continues to move quickly around here. Yes, yes...I know....time goes by at the same rate for everyone - it just feels faster for me.

School is now out and activities are wrapping up - so I am very hopeful that time will feel like it is slowing down around here.

So in two weeks we covered again more soccer, tball, work and stuff than I can remember. Also managed to squeeze in a flying visit to the hospital as my dad had a heart attack. That was a surprise for him and us.

Also got through Dam to Dam. Had the sheer fun of running with Mary and Steve. Mary I worked with for year and Steve was a friend from the Lounge. It was so nice to catch up and learn more about them over the miles. The day was great - a bit warm - but ok. One of Mary's friends started with us, but got sick at mile 2 and ended up with IV's and then a few days in the hospital. Since I learned the lesson of a heat stroke the hard way with last year's race - I really understood how hard it was for her to stop. But how scary for her to go through all those tests.

And my knee. 5 days left until the orthopedic appt. Can't wait. Not sure if I am hoping for him to tell me I am crazy and deal with it or tell me that there is really something wrong. Monday night it twisted in a way that about made me scream and faint. But then it went back to the right place and it was ok.

It still hurts to do the balance exercises so I have backed off. I am becoming less fond of inflicting pain upon myself intentionally. I am really tired of my knees hurting as well as being overly carefully of turning and twisting.

In the meantime, I really need to figure out what event is next.....Bix? ugh - hills. Tri? ugh - where to find time to swim? Nothing? ugh - don't like that option at all.

Hum...April 29th was a long time ago

Where does time go anyway?

The last few weeks have been an absolutely blur. I have written all my posts in my head but somehow they never make it to the actual blog. It's that time and priority thing.

Let's see, since April 29th, we have had 10 soccer games, 5 baseball games, 8 soccer practices, 3 dance classes plus 2 dress rehearsals and a recital. There was a whole mess of work deadlines that took over my life and my husband threw in some extra shifts to cover coworkers. I added in a few trips to my beloved PT, a few doctor appts for the kids, and even for the pets. We had a handful of family events and some catching up with neighbors. My garden is still a wreck but I did find enough time to get all 16 hanging baskets planted. That is all the good stuff.

And we also had the experience of a suicide of the dad of our daughter's friend. Tough week that one. Hard to watch and help the kids - ages 6 and 4 go through the emotions of losing their dad so unexpectedly. There are just not enough things we can do. Still working through that one.

And in there were a few runs. A few, like a handful or so. One long run in a downright, good old fashioned thunderstorm. Thought lightening would strike me or my friend as we ran on a 1/2 mile bridge over water. But God liked us and we were able to finish. I don't think I have been that wet in a long time or maybe ever. The next long run was by myself and was so cold my hands almost froze into one position. But still, I am getting a bit faster. And I am almost taking the advice of my family doctor, PT and chiro - stop running. Almost Isay, because I am walking my runs during the week and only running my long runs. I don't have that much time or patience to walk the long ones.

My PT officially discharged me. Time to go to an orthopedic and get the verdict on the knee. I am stronger but have a ways to go and work on - and I will. But Amber decided that PT wasn't going to fix it alone. You know, it is kinda sad to get "discharged" by the PT before you are "fixed". I feel like I got fired. I am working on my balance exercises like a maniac - hopeful that the continued work might pay off before I see the specialist on the 8th.

I did visit my chiropractor - the savior who brought me back from my hip injury - and he tried laser and ultrasound on it. It was a bit sore but at the same time it felt different. I think better - but hard to explain. It felt looser and more flexible. It hasn't gone out since then. He thinks it is a cartlidge tear and to stop running. But I am still more hopeful and going to try a treatment or two with him to see what might happen.

Dam to Dam is barely two weeks away - I am very excited to see what this year holds and even more excited to be given the chance again to run with 2 new runners. Can't wait!

Ok, time to get back at it.

I really can't honestly tell you if I enjoy running and finishing a half marathon because of the sense of accomplishment or if it more about the sense of entitlement I allow myself to have for the day(s) after the race.

The clock had barely advanced a minute after I crossed the line and I was holding my all time favoriate treat of a chocolate chip cookie. And by the time I walked away from the finish line, I am ashamed to say that three cookies lost their lives to my happy post race munching.

And as the day went on, I happily munched along - rewarding myself for all my hard earned 13 miles. There was a grilled chicken sandwich from Subway, a bag of chips, a couple Diet Cokes, a hot chocolate, a beer, a few pieces of pizza and oh yes, some frosted brownies. And in my normal tradition, I let myself eat whatever I wanted that day - it was my guiltfree reward. Well, almost guiltfree.

Many months ago, Topher had a great post shouting out the fact that you burn enough calories in a MARATHON to eat 11 donuts but not a full dozen. It was a really interesting point. Granted, not many people can or want to eat a full dozen donuts - but it is the principle of the fact that if you run a stinkin' marathon, in your head you translate it not into 2600 calories but instead to some infinite number of calories. The laws of physics and body digestion should be put on hold after a big race - let us indulge in peace for goodness sakes.

So, some amount of guilt crept into my head on Saturday. But then on Sunday, the real problem started. Because when I get started on a bad road with food, it is HARD to turn the car around. If I get a little junk, I want more junk. I make better excuses, I forget my small slips in an effort to allow others more guiltfree. I get crazy about being bad.

It's taken a few days, but I have finally wrestled my indulgent diet back down to the floor and I hope I can keep it at bay long enough to get back on track. I really need to because my next race is only a month away.

Quick knee update: Damn thing hurts with every step. Every walking step. Every stairs. And today at work, every push back in my chair - it would "go out". Very, very frustrating.

I did my strengthening exercises on Monday, Tuesday and tonight - so still on track. They are still hard - but I am being consistent and careful. Friday I go back to see Amber and talk more about what is next. I have decided to walk my miles duing the week in hopes of putting less stress on it versus running all of them.

I did it!

I conquered the evil Drake Relays Half Marathon! Eleven years since my last attempt which left me with a last minute finish and in last place - I finally found the courage to come back and try it again - and I didn't fail!



I finished in 2:26:26 (clock time) - still don't know chip time - and had a great run between time zero and the end. I didn't walk, the hills didn't stop me, and the weather was a cool 45 and drizzle - which is great for long distance run. I actually had a faster time for this race than last fall's half marathon!



I am absolutely escatic about finishing under the time. It gives me confidence for the rest of the season!



I recorded an audio journal along the way for the few days leading up to the race and the day after. I did it as a way to share some of the thoughts that went through my head and hopefully reassure other runners that they aren't only the one who freak out right before their chosen race.

I will post it soon...